I can’t actually believe that I am here again and back to square one with my weight. I was so happy in November 2013 when I reached goal and that was it, I was never, ever, ever, ever again going down the route of gaining weight. Ever. I was so busy setting up my photography business, training for a marathon and running my home that it was easy to keep the weight down for the first few months. Then life kicked in, the way it does when things are going well. I started noticing little things in conversations with my mother that just didn’t seem right. Small acts of confusion and then realisation that all wasn’t as it should be. Always so fiercely independent it is incredibly hard to realise your mother is growing old even when she is 81 years of age.
I have always seeked comfort in food. Of course having a hazelnut cappuccino and a cream slice is going to make me feel better. Of course sizzling your onions in butter and oil makes your bolognese/chilli/lasagne etc taste better. Of course stuffing your chicken with lashings of butter will keep it incredibly moist and it will taste wonderful. Diet tonic with my gin, you have got to be kidding me. See where I am coming from, all these things thrown in with nights in and out with friends, mornings spent drinking coffee and eating cake and indulging in delicious cooked Irish breakfasts. How in the name of God did I think I could stay at target!
I was looking for a dress recently for my eldest son’s confirmation and I had the shopping trip from hell. Nothing I liked would fit me and I felt like a barrel in what would fit me. I swore after that I was done. I was going back on the straight and narrow road to weight loss but it has taken me two further months to get there. Anyone who has lost weight knows the point that I am talking about. For me it was seeing a picture of myself on Facebook. I was so disgusted with myself that I had once again let the ‘fat demon’ in my head take over and make me feel miserable. Up to this point there was always an event or something that was going to prevent me from sticking to a plan but I have realised that there is always going to be something, am hoping to be able to make good choices whatever event I may attend! Easier said than done but that is the plan.
I hope I not boring you with my tale of woe but this is where I am at the minute. I know things could be so much worse, I have a lovely husband and three happy, healthy children but I need to feel healthy and happy as well! Hope you will encourage me as I start off once again!!!
When I last reached target it was with Slimming World and I have no doubt if I had continued going I would not be where I am now. The key is definitely to stick to it and continue to go for weigh ins each week. My second weigh in was this morning and I am down 6lbs. I know the first week it is mainly water you lose but it feels great to be back on track. Am feeling determined. Again!!
Thanks for reading! xx